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Two months ago, Camila Bronson, a 33-year-old who lives in Queens and works in human resources, decided to stop shopping for an entire year. Her reasons were simple: She was tired of impulsive spending on her phone and wanted to save and invest more money. To start, she wrote down what she wouldn’t buy takeaways, alcohol in bars (if she wanted to drink, she’d do it at home), beauty products and toiletries (unless she was replacing something she’d used ) and most clothes, shoes and accessories. Then she created her approved shopping list: groceries, one to two social outings a month, and two to three clothes or shoes a season.
So far, her plan is working. Since the beginning of April, she has bought only one thing: a pair of denim shorts that fit her approved criteria. The list allows for some flexibility, she says, but maintains clear boundaries to prevent me from slipping into old habits.
The concept of an approved shopping list was popularized by Cait Flanders in her 2018 bestseller. The Year of Less: How I Stopped Shopping, Gave My Stuff Away, and Discovered That Life Is Worth More Than Anything You Can Buy in a Storewhich shows her month-by-month progress in stopping almost all shopping in 2014 (she continued her shopping ban for a year after that and now writes a popular newsletter, The conscious consumer). Since then, her methods have gained a wide following and are frequently referenced in Reddit threads and other #nospend content, which is experiencing a resurgence of late. Fans post their approved shopping lists alongside what they’ve banned, how much money they’ve saved or how much debt they’ve paid off.
For me, Flanders’ book is strangely comforting. A low-key, uncluttered life with straightforward rules about spending has the same appeal as one of those all-white, wrinkle-free linen beds I’ve seen on Instagram. It is peaceful, immaculate and completely incompatible with the clutter of needs that flood my daily life. Like most people I know, especially other parents, they seem to go through paychecks like they’re putting out fire: problems arise (my kid outgrows his shoes, a bill shows up, we run out of groceries, a friend asks me to wear something colorful when I give a speech at her upcoming wedding, where the hell is the sunscreen?) and I spend money to sort them out. Plus, at a time when many people can’t afford to buy much at all, choosing stopping shopping seems like an act of outrageous luxury. Hey, look at you! It must be beautiful!
But an approved list of expenses is more accessible. No matter how much (or little) money you can save, setting personal rules about where you put it, even if you don’t have much choice, is a way to exercise control. The cost of living can be up our throats, but we can still have some limits.
To create your approved list, Flanders recommends walking around your house and looking at what you use in each room every day. These things include your essentials, which you are allowed to buy or replace whenever they run out. She also suggests you take inventory of your current possessions. The point, of course, is that these actions will expose your non-essentials to all the crap you think you need that’s actually gathering dust, and make you reconsider or stop yourself before you get more out of it.
From there, Flanders encourages you to think specifically about what you might want to buy in the coming months and determine what you’ll do when that happens. Buy it, find some other way to get it, or fight the urge? If you plan to buy it and, more importantly, can afford it, put it on the approved shopping list. She’s careful to point out that everyone’s list will be different; it is never prescriptive. Her approved list included supplies to make her candles, a hobby that never even crossed my mind. In other words, you do you. (You can find more resources on how to make your own list in this excerpt from Flanders’ book.)
An approved shopping list is basically how I approach my regular budget, says Kiersten Saunders, a financial educator, entrepreneur, and co-author of Cashing Out: Win the game of riches by cashing out. With a fluctuating income and a young son to care for, trying to cut expenses based on rigid categories seems impractical. Instead, she focuses her spending on her family and business priorities, which makes it easier to skip other things.
Her goal, she says, is to give ourselves permission to buy what we really need without judgment or self-punishment. Saunders likens it to eating intuitively, trusting your body’s internal cues, rather than being influenced by whatever clean-meal commercials pop up this week or ditching office snacks just because they’re in the kitchen.
In my experience, this is a slippery slope. How can I tell if I’m actually hungry or just want that barbecue I smell? Where do you draw the line between a want and a want when they mean different things to different people? When is restraint helpful and when does it drain your willpower and make you feel bad? One of the challenges of shopping bans, even with an approved list, is that it never gets fixed. Things break, they need to change, and sometimes you have to adapt on the fly, says Saunders. It takes a lot of practice to get it right.
It also has limitations. To be clear: an approved shopping list won’t solve the student loan crisis, make mortgages more affordable, fix all your money problems, or give you security of work. But it’s an easier and gentler way to move the needle in your favor. A low hack, if you will.
At least, it gives you more freedom. I’ve learned to run potential purchases through a mental rubric, asking myself questions like: Am I completely off this article? How Long? What’s the risk if I don’t take it right away? Have I tried to find a second hand version? Saunders says. By separating my overall needs from my need for the moment, I’m able to make more deliberate choices about what I buy and when. It also makes him think where else can he get that thing, can he borrow it? Are you getting it from someone who is giving it?
Saunders has discovered some other useful rules in the meantime. I have found that banning certain habits, rather than specific items, has been more effective, she says. For example, I have a rule that if I can get something within 20 minutes and it’s under $20, I have to go to the store and buy it in person. This helps me avoid the temptation to mindlessly shop Amazon Prime, filling my cart with extras to earn free same-day shipping and wasting precious time in the process.
I think there’s a good reason these self-imposed rules are being revived now. In a light economy, don’t we all want something more concrete, a plan to follow, permission to feel like we’re doing something right? Lists will not save us, to be sure. But they are a place to start.
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